Atonement (Love Undercover Book 3) Read online

  It opened to a lovely young Latina woman smiling at me. She glowed, and I couldn’t help glancing down at her slightly curved belly.

  “Landon, I’m so glad you came.” Ines, Brody’s girlfriend, welcomed me inside.

  “Here, this is for you guys.” I cringed as she took my offering. Who gives a pregnant woman a bottle of wine?

  “You didn’t have to bring anything but thank you. I’ll be ready to crack this thing open by the time this kid gets here, I’m sure. You can hang your coat on the rack there. Brody will be happy to see you.”

  Reluctantly, I shrugged out of the garment. I didn’t want to be here long enough to hang it up. I was glad the two of them were back in Chicago, safe, happy, and in love, but housewarming parties and being surrounded by this large, boisterous family wasn’t my thing. Being in close quarters near this many people made me twitchy. It reminded me of everything I’d had at one time, but lost.

  “Everyone’s in here. Can I get you a drink?” she asked over her shoulder.

  I cleared my throat. “No, thanks. I’m good. I can’t stay long.”

  I followed her into the living room, my stomach twisting in knots and my heartbeat thumping in my ears. As though some force of nature commanded it, my gaze shifted to the far wall, and I found myself staring into familiar hazel eyes. My steps faltered.

  Memories blasted through me. Sweat-slicked skin. Whispered promises. The bittersweet agony of thinking my sins could be forgiven.

  I shoved the unwelcome thoughts away and focused my gaze on the three people standing in front of me. Brody, holding a red plastic cup in his hand, Ines, and her father.

  “You came.” My former agent sounded surprised. He reached out and awkwardly one-arm hugged me.

  Sweat covered my palms, and my stomach dipped. I forced a smile, but it was a weak one. “I figured the least I could do was formally welcome you back.”

  “Well, I’m glad you’re here. You remember Ernesto?” he indicated the older man standing next to him.

  I nodded. “It’s a pleasure to see you again, Mr. Rodriguez.”

  Before I could guess his intent, he wrapped his arms around me for a quick hug. I tried not to flinch. I wasn’t a hugger, and I’d just been given two. He pulled back and smiled widely at me, his teeth bright white against the darker tone of his skin. “Please, call me Ernesto. Thank you for helping my son and Estelle.”

  Uncomfortable with his gratitude, I took a tiny step back. “You’re welcome.”

  Ines gestured to the crowded room. “I think you know everyone here, except for Manuel’s wife, Marguerite, and their two kids.”

  Avoiding looking at the man on the other side of the room, I took in the rest of the Ines’ family. Her brother Victor and his girlfriend, Estelle, cuddled on the couch. Her other two brothers, and a woman who must be the sister-in-law, stood in the kitchen. A couple of young children, a dark-haired girl and boy, raced past us, giggling and laughing.

  “Oh, wait, you don’t know Brody’s brother. Let me introduce you.”

  “No!” All three blinked at my tone. “I mean, we met outside that warehouse a month ago.”

  Ines’ expression cleared first. “That’s right, he was there.”

  And I’d avoided him like the fucking plague until I could slip away with my two colleagues. I’d felt his gaze following me the whole time. The same way I could feel eyes boring into my back today. Coming here was a bad idea.

  Conversation flowed around us. People moved in and out of the room. Time passed far too slowly, and my eyes kept darting toward the door. I didn’t know what time it was, but surely I’d been here long enough that it wouldn’t be rude if I grabbed my coat and said my goodbyes? Especially since he was here. Once again, flashes of memories pierced my brain. That had been the most beautiful, and one of the most painful, nights of my life.

  My hollow laughter joined everyone else’s, even though I had no idea what I was laughing at. I needed to get out of here. Now. “Thank you for inviting me to the party, but I have to run. I’m glad you’re back, Brody.”

  I barely waited for a response before hightailing it out of the house, pulling my coat up around my ears. I couldn’t remember the last time it had been this cold this early, but that was Chicago for you.

  I reached my car, and the voice that hadn’t left my head for two years, the one I could pick out blindfolded, hit my ears. “Leaving so soon?”

  It was far too close for comfort. I froze and quickly tried to make my escape, but the second I tugged on the handle, a strong hand slammed across the top of my car door, halting its movement.

  “Move your hand,” I bit out behind clenched teeth.

  My gaze locked on the fingers in front of me. They looked exactly the same as they had before. Calloused. Strong. Gentle. A brief flash of them cupping my breast, thumbing my nipple, rushed through my mind. I pushed the images away, needing to get out of here.

  Hating him for making me look at him, I raised my eyes to meet hazel ones. It almost hurt to see Preston’s face again. His expression echoed the pain I forced down. He took a tiny step back. Not far enough away, because if I wanted, I could still reach out and touch him.

  “Why’d you run?”

  I closed my eyes, needing to break this connection. I also needed to block out my emotions. He’d seen too much of them already.

  Hoping my mask was back in place, I met his stare again. “I didn’t run. I left. We had a good time, and it was over.”

  Preston crossed his arms. “Liar.”

  I flinched. Even after two years, he still saw too much.

  “You and I both know it was more than just a good time, Landon.”

  Hearing that name from his lips hardened my emotions. He met Sara that night. I needed to put a stop to this. Pushing back my shoulders, I straightened to my full height. “We fucked. That was it. Nothing more, nothing less.”

  “Does Brody know?”

  I reared back. “God, no. I didn’t even know he was your brother until that day outside the warehouse. He’d told me he had a recovering addict brother, but no fucking way could I have guessed it was you.”

  “I’ve never forgotten you,” he said softly.

  Pain shot through me. I’d never forgotten him, either, no matter how hard I tried. But he was no good for me. He made me feel things I didn’t deserve to feel.

  It was time to end this conversation. I glared hard at him, desperate to show how much I didn’t care. “It was two years ago. You should get over it. I know I have.”

  I grabbed the handle hard again, and yanked the door open, knocking Preston out of the way. I dove behind the wheel, and with barely a glance for other cars, I took off down the street, refusing to look in the rearview mirror to see if he was still standing there.

  Why now? Why did he have to show up in my life again? I’d purged him from my system. I had, damn it.

  I made it home. I tried opening the front door, but my hand shook so much I couldn’t get the key in the lock. I took a deep breath to steady myself, and finally, after two more tries I got it open. I dropped my things on the side table next to the door and shrugged out of my coat, just as a large bundle of orange fluff came bounding into the room. With a purr as loud as a diesel engine, my tabby, Sherbert, snaked around my legs, leaving a trail of cat hair behind.

  I picked him up and cuddled him, needing the closeness of his rumbling vibration to cheer me up. He chirped in my ear.

  “I missed you too.” With a kiss on his nose, I set him down and made my way to the kitchen.

  I flopped on the couch and took a sip of the beer I’d grabbed. Sherbert jumped onto my lap and curled up to sleep. I envied the big guy. Absently, I stroked his fur as memories from inside that hotel room played in my head. Whispered words of pleasure. Feeling more connected to another human being than I ever had. Looking into Preston’s eyes had, for a brief time, quieted the riotous screams of agony that seemed to always be present inside my head.

  It had bee
n one of the rare times the nightmares hadn’t visited me. As though his presence alone scared them away. They returned though.

  They always did.

  I jumped off the couch, dumping the cat on the floor with an aggrieved howl, and stood shaking.

  I cursed Preston Thomas for showing back up in my life and dragging out things best left buried.

  A quick glance at the clock showed it was still early afternoon. Maybe she’d be in her office. I grabbed the phone and dialed the number I knew by heart, because I called her far too often.

  “Hey, Doc, I know it’s late notice, but do you think you can fit me in today?” I let out a heavy sigh. “It’s been a rough one.”

  Chapter 4

  “About time you dragged your sorry ass in here.”

  Brody took a pull from his paper coffee cup and shot me the finger as he closed the office door with his foot. “Fuck off. I’m only ten,”—he paused at my throat clearing and corrected himself. “Fine, I’m twenty minutes late. It’s not like we have clients banging down the door.”

  Thomas Brothers: Private Investigators had been open for business approximately twenty minutes, and the least qualified brother had arrived first.

  “Not only are you late, but you didn’t even have the decency to bring me a cup of coffee with you.”

  My brother narrowed his eyes. “You don’t drink coffee.”

  I shrugged. “It still would have been a nice gesture.”

  “Good god. You’re not going to be like this every day, are you?” Brody grumbled as he plopped into the office chair that groaned under his weight. I smirked and waited for it to collapse beneath him. Would serve him right for buying hand-me-down furniture from a consignment store. If he’d waited, I could have scored us higher quality products for a better deal. It would have been stolen merchandise, but Brody didn’t need to know that. Too late now.

  “Are you regretting asking me to be your business partner already?”

  “I only walked through the door five minutes ago. Give me at least an hour, and I’ll let you know.”

  I blew out a puff of air. “Man, who would have thought you and I would be working together one day?”

  The idea still blew me away. Brody tried leaning back in his chair. He sat upright after it let out a rumble of protest in response.

  “Well, technically I’m the boss since I am the one who put up eighty percent of the capital for this little business venture.”

  “I guess that means you technically,”—I emphasized with air quotes—“get to do most of the work then, right? I’ll sit here and do all this filing.” My hands waved over the empty surface of my desk.

  “You really are going to be a pain in my ass, aren’t you?” He took another sip from his cup, and I couldn’t hold back my smile.

  It felt good to bust each other’s balls. For so long we’d had a tenuous relationship. It was still by no means perfect, but over the last year we’d worked hard on repairing it. My continued sobriety helped.

  “How’s Ines doing? Are you two going to find out the sex of the baby?” I couldn’t believe I was going to be an uncle.

  “We can’t agree. I want to be surprised, but she wants to know. She has her next ultrasound appointment in a few weeks, and she should be far enough along to tell by then.”

  “Whatever it ends up being, he or she will be one lucky kid to have you two as parents.” I was almost envious of this baby, and he hadn’t even been born yet.

  “You really think so?”

  I was surprised by the nervousness in my brother’s question. “Without a doubt. You were the best big brother a guy could ask for, so I have no doubt you’ll be the best dad as well.”

  Brody looked thoughtful for a moment, and then he blinked before catching my eye. “I don’t know. Maybe if I’d been a better brother, I would have seen what was going on with you before it was too late.”

  I shook my head. “Nah, man, my shit wasn’t on you. I fucked up my life all on my own. Sorry, but you can’t take credit for that.”

  “Still—”

  “Nope. Not on you. I’m the one who went to that party. The one who let myself get talked into a single line of blow. The one who liked it so much I continued doing it so long that before I knew it, coke wasn’t enough anymore. While you were undercover, you apparently did things you feel are worthy of self-flagellation, so don’t take on my guilt. Give me that at least.”

  Brody sighed. “You’re right. We both have our own sins to answer for.”

  I bit back the dickish reply on the tip of my tongue, because I knew he didn’t mean anything by his comment. It was only the truth. Sin upon sin was piled on my shoulders. Not the least of which was the death of our mother. My intent may not have been to kill her, but I had nonetheless. That brought thoughts of Landon. Of our conversation that night.

  Had she found the forgiveness she’d so desperately been seeking? Something told me she hadn’t.

  Seeing her again after all this time had been a shock. Discovering she’d been my brother’s handler for nearly five years while he’d been undercover inside the cartel had been something else entirely. I didn’t even want to think about what Brody would do if he learned she and I had history.

  The fact our paths had crossed again meant something. She’d gotten away from me last week during the housewarming party, but I knew her real name. Why had she given me a fake one anyway? It was only one of many things about Landon Roberts I planned on finding out.

  There was a sudden, soft knock on the door. My brother and I passed a surprised look between us. “Are you expecting anyone?”

  He rose from his seat, shaking his head. “Not yet. We have an appointment scheduled for three this afternoon, but that’s it.”

  A young woman stepped through the open door, and I couldn’t hold back my shock. Neither could Brody.

  “Michele, what are you doing here?” he asked.

  “I need your help.”

  Brody and I exchanged another glance.

  “I can pay you,” she added at our hesitation.

  “Don’t worry about that right now. Why don’t you have a seat?”

  She perched on the edge of the chair Brody indicated.

  “This is my brother, Preston.”

  Her gaze bounced between the two of us. “Michele and I met once before. Victor introduced us one night at Sweet SINoritas while he was looking for Álvarez. Although he may have left out the fact you and I are related.”

  “I see.” He turned his attention back to her. “How did you find our office?”

  “Ines. She’s the only person I trust with this. She told me to come here and see you.”

  Since this involved his girlfriend, I let Brody keep control of the conversation.

  “What sort of help do you need?”

  She dug through the purse she’d laid in her lap. “Three weeks ago, one of the dancers from the club, Starla, OD’ed in the dressing room. I found this after Damon told me to clean out her locker.”

  Michele handed me the item. It was a small, plastic baggie with white residue inside. I didn’t need to taste it to know it was cocaine. The sweet, almost floral scent was a dead giveaway. There was also a chemical smell I couldn’t identify. For a brief second, my lids closed as the familiar aroma wafted around me. In a flash, I passed it off to Brody. I needed to get that shit away from me.

  “Why are you bringing this here? You should take it to the police,” I growled.

  “I did. They looked at it and tossed it right back at me. Said they already knew what she’d died from. The asshole behind the desk barely even glanced at me.”

  Brody cleared his throat. “If the autopsy showed large amounts of cocaine in her system and they ruled an overdose as cause of death, then they didn’t need this to prove it.”

  Michele’s eyes teared up, but her clenched jaw and fists were pure rage. “There’s been chatter around the club about a new drug on the streets. Something called Rapture. I overheard a few o
f the girls talking. Several of their friends and other people they know, including Starla, have all OD’ed using it.”

  I glanced over at the clear plastic in Brody’s hand to see purple ink in the shape of wings decorating it.

  She continued. “Starla was my friend. She didn’t deserve to die. I want to find out who sold her this shit. They can’t keep killing people without any consequence. It’s obvious the cops couldn’t care less. Especially not about some stripper. Which is why I came to you.” She begged us with her eyes. “I need you to find out who’s selling this and stop them.”

  Chapter 5

  “You wanted to see me, sir?” I poked my head around Deputy Director Gibson’s office door.

  I hadn’t been called in here since Brody resigned from the agency, and I’d been reassigned.

  He waved me in. “Have a seat, Roberts.”

  I lowered myself to the chair and waited to hear what this was about. My nerves were stretched taut. Usually a meeting with Gibson was not for any good reason. Shit. Was I about to get written up?

  “Have you seen this?” I reached for the object he held out to me. It was a small plastic baggie with purple angel wings stamped on it.

  “No, sir.” I was an Intelligence Research Specialist these days. A number cruncher and analyzer. I hadn’t been out in the field in nearly a year. New narcotics were constantly being sold on the streets, but unless they moved beyond a specific quantity, with a high enough price tag, we left basic street drug sales to the local LEOs.

  “It’s supposedly called Rapture. A new, synthesized version of cocaine, but whatever chemicals they’ve added to it to increase the street value is lethal. I’m waiting on a component analysis from our forensic division. Reports from some of our agents on the streets are saying there’s a significant rise in the movement of this shit.”